Monday, October 8th, 2018

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Alexander Gardens was the only retirement home I went to today. I took this performance as an opportunity to try out every piece I was relearning, including Ballade, Rhapsody, Un Sospiro, and Partita 2. I had not practiced Ballade for two weeks, so I read the music while I played. I performed it decently for the most part, but I got stuck at a couple of sections where my eyes were jumping around on the page. Sometime after that I tried playing Partita 2, which did not go over so well. I played the beginning ok, stumbled during the middle, and failed the quick, last section. When I got to the latter part I kept losing my finger positions, forgetting where to place them. In the end I told the residents I was going to move onto a different piece since I could not finish Partita. I was fine with that since I knew they appreciated my playing for what it was, and were not a judgemental crowd. Rhapsody did not go so well either, because I forgot the middle section and had a difficult time picking up after. Un Sospiro was the only newish piece that I felt OK playing. Sometimes I feel bad for Alexander Gardens, since they are the home that gets all my first attempts at playing new pieces.

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Wednesday, October 10th, 2018

Heritage House was the retirement home I went to today. There were a lot of residents and I got to play a wide variety of pieces I did not plan to play. Among those include Clair de Lune, Prelude in C# Minor, and Liebestraum 3. Inbetween those pieces I played simpler ones such as Op. 49 No. 2 and Prelude 4, but I was happy to include the more complex ones. I was proud of myself for doing so, and for ending my performance with Liebestraum 3. I was not planning to do that, but at the last second while I was finishing the Raindrop Prelude at 4:40pm, I figured, why not push myself?

Sunday, October 14th, 2018

Buena Vista Care Center had me over today, and I am happy to report I played well. I have been trying to play all my harder pieces in order to get them to a more advanced level, and it has been working so far. I have been playing Pathetique 1 better than ever, and been able to sightread pieces such as Ballade 1 easily. I also played other Brahms' pieces well, such as his Rhapsody 2. Thinking about Brahms makes me want to learn more of his music, so I will have to listen to more of his library to chose another piece to learn. Liebestraum 3 was the piece I played the worst at Buena Vista, however I still played it well. I had a large crowd, of about 20, and they all seemed incredibly happy to have me. I have another scheduled time at Buena Vista coming up, which is this Thanksgiving. I am planning to play the same pieces then but they will be a little more polished.

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Wednesday, October 17th, 2018

The piece I was most proud of playing at Heritage House today was Brahms' Rhapsody 2. I played it with a lot of emotion and conviction. Many times when I play Rhapsody 2, I stumble because I get almost too invested in the piece. As a result I lose my concentration and my mind starts wondering. I also played Pathetique 1 decently well, but I almost lost control playing it too quickly. I was nervous playing it for the first time at Heritage House, and I had no idea how I would end the piece if I lost my place at any point. Thankfully I did not lose my place, but my hands were shaking the entire time. I am determined to continue performing Pathetique 1 at every retirement home I go to now, because I want to have a newish repetoire that is inspiring.

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Thursday, October 18th, 2018

Valle Verde was an excellent crowd this afternoon. I played my usual difficult program, and it made me happy that I was able to get through it easier than at Heritage House yesterday. My favorite piece I played was Chopin's Nocturne 19. Playing that piece makes me feel like I need to learn more of Chopin's Nocturnes in addition to the new piece by Brahms I am going to learn. I have been having a progressively easier time playing Nocturne 19, and I think it will be a piece that stays in my regular program for a long while. The piano at Valle Verde is a nice baby grand, and I chose to play it with the cover on since I was feeling a bit sound sensitive. I do not think anybody minded, since I still played all the notes nicely and made pleasant music.

Saturday, October 20th, 2018

I had an intimate crowd at Villa Riviera today. There were about ten residents watching me play, and several more listening to me from their rooms. Sometimes the people living in the retirement communities like to leave their doors open while I play so they can relax while hearing me. I played for about an hour, and performed Suggestion Diabolique during that time. I introduced it as a spooky, Halloween-like piece, and it was received as such. I played it decently well, but it was mostly sloppy and a little erratic. I plan to play it again at Alexander Gardens on Monday. There is nothing more to report on today's performance since everything went well and I continued playing my difficult repertoire. I spoke a little bit throughout my program and also afterwards, talking about why I like certain composers such as Brahms and Bach.

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Monday, October 22nd, 2018

I went to Alexander Gardens today, prepared to perform Suggestion Diabolique. However, I completely forgot to play it. Next time I will have to write down my program in advance so I do not skip any pieces. I went through Brahms, Beethoven, Bach, Debussy, and Liszt, playing Un Sospiro written by the latter. I was happy I played Un Sospiro, because I can tell I am getting better at it. I am forgetting less sections, and am figuring out where to resume if I get lost somewhere. I will continue to play Un Sospiro at each retirement home I go to, even if I get lost in the middle of it.

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Wednesday, October 24th, 2018

I did not perform well today at Mariposa. I had a lot on my mind which did not have to do with piano, and it distracted me enough that I forgot a large number of passages in the pieces I was playing. It's times like these that I wonder how I can ever get to an impressive performance level if my bad days include skipping whole pages of music because I am not completely focused. I have no idea how concert musicians can have a set time and date they are expected to perform, and then perform well no matter what. Maybe my bad days are just worse than other musicians' bad days, for whatever reason. On the positive side, maybe that means my good days are better than most musicians' good days. All I know is I wanted to apologize to the residents for playing so poorly, but I did not because I did not want to admit any mistakes. I have been told that no matter what, the music you play probably sounds good and people listening do not pick up on the flaws. I am still learning to handle mistakes well during performances, and it's times like these where I get the most amount of practice in that way. That is another positive perspective I can apply to this performance.

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Thursday, October 25th, 2018

I had less on my mind today because I was able to resolve my personal distractions, and as a result I played well. This evening I went to the Californian and played soft sounding piano during their dinner time. I always like playing at the Californian because they give me food afterwards, and I always get a large amount of praise there. I have been going there since I started performing at retirement homes 6 years ago. Thinking back, I used to get so nervous before performances there. I was still new at creating my musical identity, so I did not see myself as a performing pianist. Now I can play there without any stress, which is nice because I would be a wreck if I got nervous before playing at every retirement home every week.

Friday, October 26th, 2018

I felt prepared to play at Vista del Monte today since I had been playing at homes for the past two days. I started out with the first movement of Beethoven's Pathetique Sonata, and it went better than expected. I did not forget any sequences and was able to get through all of it without any stutters. I continued through the rest of my program with mostly ease, until I got to Suggestion Diabolique. I had to stop a couple times to turn the pages, so I will program the piece into an iPad app that will turn the pages for me. I had the usual fifteen resident crowd at Vista del Monte, and they all seemed entertained by my music.

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Wednesday, October 31st, 2018

Heritage House was stressful to play at today since I was determined to play all my difficult pieces no matter what. The scary thing about playing at Heritage House is that I am always nervous and stiff when I sit at their piano, and I never know if I will go through with my advanced repertoire since it can sound really horrible if I am not prepared. The first difficult piece I played was Liebestraum 3, and that went alright even though I was incredibly nervous and having a difficult time concentrating. I felt confident after Liebstraum so I continued with Pathetique 1, which also went well. I did not play it as sloppily as last time, which was nice because last time my fingers were sweating profusely. A large problem with playing while having unsteady nerves is that my concentration is all over the place and my eyes dart everywhere. I have to trust that my muscle memory will take over and everything will be OK. In the end, playing at Heritage House today was a greatly rewarding experience.

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